Lethargy And Indifference

"Traffic With One's Higher Self.

Everyone has his good day, when he finds his higher self, and true humanity demands that we judge someone only when he is in this condition, and not in his workdays of bondage and servitude."

- Frederich Nietsche

It's too bad that Nietsche didn't mention about people having a bad day. What do you do when you suffer from lethargy and loss of concentration and when you basically didn't care if the whole world falls down on you? That was what I was feeling prior to my game game against Arthur Hyunh last night. Arthur took no time to take me apart and this was more like a 25 min rapid game than an actual G90 game (which it was supposed to be).

I was just shuffling pieces aimlessly, not playing with a plan, just wanting to get the game over and done with and the game was officially over in less than 40 minutes. I don't even recall what the game was all about which is a tad unusual for me (usually I would be able to remember around 10 moves in the game). I basically stopped recording my moves after move 18 and threw away my scoresheet afterwards (which I normally don't - even when I do lose). I was playing move by move ie. not thinking much or thinking far ahead. In Fritz terms, my brain was operating on 1-ply mode.

Normally I would recall some aspects of the game but this time round, my mind was just blank. Arthur didn't do much post-game analysis afterwards (I think he only made one post-game comment along the lines of "you shouldn't have trapped my bishop." and I replied,"Yep" and shrugged my shoulders) and frankly, neither did I, because there was nothing interesting to evaluate.

The funny thing was that after the game, I didn't feel disappointed or angry, just *shrug*, well.... indifferent.

My brother-in-law Steven thinks I'm still suffering the ill-effects from my lose with Dennis 2 weeks ago but I don't think so.

Maybe I need some time away from chess to revitalise or something.

PS: if you're reading this, Arthur. Sorry if my attitude was a turn-off. If I offended you in any way, it was definitely not intentional. Cheers.